Forces Of Geek Column: Top 5 Movie Plots That Would Have Been Ruined By Modern Technology

Hello Readers!

If you are still following this blog you have unbelievable faith, given that my updates over the last month have been erratic at best. I blame it all on alcohol and pork. No, no,  I’m just joking (not really).

Sooo *twiddles thumbs*, I promise to have a post for you soon on the first ever catfight (girls, not cats) I’ve seen in real life. But for now,here’s an excerpt from my article – the Top 5 Movie Plots That Would Have Been Ruined By Modern Technology.

“Hi bro, listen, things have gotten bad…I’m stranded somewhere along the Amazon river with Ice Cube and Jenny-From-The-Block, and the world’s largest anaconda is trying to eat and digest us. I know, Mondays right? Yeah, could you track my GPS and pick me up? Kthanxbye”
– Dr. Steven Cale using a cellphone in Anaconda

 Remember the good old days when you’d happily watch as movie characters were doomed to die because:

a) the perfectly working car suddenly refused to start
b) the villain cut the phone lines
c) they’d decided to take the road not taken, gotten lost and murdered by locals?

Well, not anymore. Now, you can’t help but watch some movies and be skeptical that the girl in the movie doesn’t pull out her cellphone and call 911 when there’s a nutter with a chainsaw after her, or exasperated that if the Seven Dwarfs had learned CPR, they would’ve checked Snow White’s airway and found that piece of apple in her throat.

The technology we use and the fuel-efficient cars we drive today have made many classic and cult Hollywood movie plots largely implausible.

Here are our Top 5 Movies that could not be made today without alterations to account for new technology:

1) Romeo & Juliet: In all movie versions of this classic romantic tragedy, the plot remains the same. As you know, the star-crossed lovers carry out a plan so foolhardy that only a pair of romantic idiots could conceive of it, in order to escape their families. Juliet takes a potion that puts her in a coma-like state for 42 hours, so that her family gives her up for dead. Romeo is to join her when she awakens and whisk her away to a happily-ever-after ending. However, Romeo doesn’t get the message, thinks Juliet’s actually dead and kills himself. Juliet wakes up, sees that Romeo is dead and kills herself. Genius planning.

However, things may have turned out differently for Romeo and Juliet if they’d just texted their way through their problems.

A simple ‘Romeo, im gna take some fake poison.ill c u in 6 hrs.don’t do anything stupid xoxo’ text would have averted a tragedy.

GO READ  the rest of the article NOW, and leave me a comment if you can think of other examples of other plots that technology killed (no, your life is not a movie).

 

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2 responses to “Forces Of Geek Column: Top 5 Movie Plots That Would Have Been Ruined By Modern Technology

  1. Heh. The Fight Club.
    “Hey.. they keep tagging pictures of ME instead of Brad Pitt up on facebook… in fact, there are no pictures of Brad Pitt at all. I wonder why that is…”

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