Hello there Readers,
You would think they would be the easiest thing to make. But, no. It’s me. Never underestimate my ability to mess up something, especially if it takes place in the kitchen. I mean, I should know by now that I just don’t have the skills to cook something from scratch. And yet, that doesn’t stop me from trying. Quotes along the lines of “Insanity is repeating the same behaviour etc” will not be appreciated at the moment. Right.
Anyhow, while my point-of-view on me cooking anything is clear-sighted, the faith everyone else around me seems to have in my ability can only be described (and said with love) as blind optimism. They mean well, and while I love them for their misguided enthusiasm, I think it would be kinder to just let me survive on baked beans on toast, microwave lasagne and instant meals.
I mean, the pancake recipe given to me by one of my friends, was the simplest, easiest list of instructions:
1) Mix 1 cup flour, 1 egg, three spoons of sugar, and milk.
2) Smoosh bananas into the batter.
3) Mix the batter until it’s the consistency of a thick milkshake.
4) Pour a circle of batter into the pan, wait until that circle is solid enough to flip over and then keep flipping to keep the pancake from being burnt.
And yet somehow, 5 minutes into frying the pancakes: ERMAHGED THE PAN IS ON FIREEE!!!!
And then THE FIRE ALARM WENT OFF
AND THEN SECURITY BURST IN. They were not amused.
After an ear-splitting 20 minutes of the fire alarm refusing to be turned off, a lot of muttered swear words and frustration, they left with me waving them off, promising never to make pancakes from scratch again. Add this incident to the two times I’ve locked myself out of the room, and you’ll understand why Security now know me on a first name basis. It was a momentous first attempt at making pancakes, to say the least.
So, after that disastrous attempt, I decided to just do what I do best, and live off instant food, and bought ready-made pancakes from Tesco, popped them in the oven for 5 minutes (the packet gave me instructions on where in the oven to place the pancakes and specified the degree to heat them) and TADA!:
Yeah, I know. Lazy. Oh well, I can’t cook, but I can pay. Yes, yes, to all of you who are shaking your heads at this, I *will* keep trying. Quotes along the lines of “Insanity is repeating the same behaviour etc” will not be appreciated at the moment. At the very least, we’ll get an amusing story, if not a frivolous blog post out of it. It’s amazing the patience people have with me….Oh, erm. Have I mentioned how great your hair looks lately, Reader?